5 Cs of Relationships

As I see most of my peer group from school, college and colleagues finally settling down in matrimony, it takes me back a long time to my teenage days when this fascination for getting into a perfect relationship first germinated.

The endless discussions with friends on love marriage versus arranged marriage and what qualities you look for in your life partner questions were done to death those days. Many die-hard proponents of love marriage ended up in proper matrimony suggested by parents and incredibly some seeda-saada chupe rustoms ended up with life partners of their choice. ( No names here :) )

As brash youngsters we start life imagining we have all the answers and total control of our lives; Only with time and experience the truth dawns on us, its not so simple. Sitcoms like How I Met your Mother and F.R.I.E.N.D.S play on the question which  is on the mind of very single person on this planet – 

When will I meet the right person and more importantly how will I know ?.

There is a romantic answer when it happens when it happens but as a Engineer/MBA I had to drill it down to a formula. ( ya right :P )

Here goes 5 Cs of the perfect relationship

Chemistry:- The first spark in any relationship is the irresistible attraction which is often irrational when hormones begin to rage. Chemistry has a role to play in a relationship, unfortunately people attach to much importance to it than needed as youth/looks are transient.  

Compatibility:- I never believe the old adage opposites attract. A shared context and values which can take a relationship forward when the heady attraction subsides. The question comes into my mind is do you see yourself with this person 50 years from now.

Convergence:- Sometimes we meet the right kind of person and we do seem to get along like fire but then unfortunately there is no convergence in goals or dreams. Such kind of relationships are quite troublesome while you do want to make them work but the burden of killing your dreams doesn't make them worth it. Long distance relationships often brings in long lasting cracks instead.

Communication: In every relationship, there are bound to be disagreements and small annoying flaws, but the only way to deal with them is open dialogue and communication. Talking aloud makes all the difference. I am not saying ranting and going ballistic is going to help, but soft spoken objective interactions can go a long way in soothing nerves and making that difference.

Conviction: People today lack the patience and conviction to make a relationship work. Its all lovey-dovey at first, but at the first sign of trouble, people crumble and seek the exit route. This only leads to a series of unfulfilled relationships which leaves one emotionally exhausted. In life there are bound to be ups and downs, it is better to have that one anchored relationship which can help you navigate through life instead of drifting aimlessly.

Finally be it a man or a woman have faults, its remarkable how two imperfect beings seek a perfect relationship. But by adhering these 5 principles, any relationship can be improved greatly.