Uttama Villain What a Mess ... Glorious, Noble and Compelling though !

Over the weekend, I was in Chennai trying hard to get tickets to the latest Kamal Hassan opus "Uttama Villian" which off course didn't happen with the finanical issues and the state government capping ticket prices to INR 120 only, if you book a ticket online, with service tax the princely amount goes to INR 150.  Damn I feel ripped off in Bangalore when even a morning show costs you INR 200.


Coming to my thoughts about the movie - SPOILERS AHEAD ! ( it is really a character driven movie rather than a coherent plot)

Synopsis 

Kamal Hassan plays Manorajan (Entertainment)  who is a sell-out superstar who makes masala movies for a living, drunkard, callous and also unfaithful having an affair with a much younger doctor Dr Arpana (Sacrifice) played by Andrea, married to a woman for 20 odd years just for the money aptly named Varalakshmi (Goddess of Wealth) played by the marvelous Urvashi.

On the same day, he gets two game changing news, he has a daughter from a previous affair and brain tumor which does not allow him many more days to live. So he decides to take control of his life and goes back to make a movie with his former mentor Margadarshi (Advisor / Guide) played by real life mentor and directorial legend K Balachandar for one last movie from the heart and not purse strings.

The names of characters do seem to be on the nose on their motivations but it does work rather well.

What Does Not Work 

• The movie is very slow at 2 hours and 52 minutes, I believe it has been trimmed by 15 minutes already. 
• The screenplay is so self indulgent with Hindi, Mayalam, Telugu and Pure Tamil been used interchangeably even the more bi-multilingual audience member will miss several scenes due to loss in translation (Hey Ram once again)
• Although the portions as part of Movie in Movie set in the 8th century was supposed to be rocking comedy, you barely get few smiles on the jokes if one is charitable 
• K Balachander due to bad health couldn't dub his lines so it clearly shows a disconnect 
• Too many songs
• Ramesh Arvind though credited as director seems completely seems ghost directed by Kamal Hassan

What Does Work    

• Kamal delivers a knock-out performance which acknowledges his age and the banality of 50+ year super-stars romancing young girls in dude masala flicks 
• Lots of self referential jokes on his own career, in a way its an ode to the wonderful relationship between Kamal and his mentor K Balachandar
• Hard hitting reality of how one reconciles to impending death and how priorities change so quickly 
• The juxtaposition of Manorajan who is dying in real-life while Uttama played in the movie within the movie is an Immortal (Mitrunjaya) is an beautiful irony 
• There are several scenes which can best be described as poetry in motion, the use of mirrors, metaphors of removing make-up during a key revelation , looking at his family from a window and a game of catching the ball during a difficult discussion with his son. my descriptions cannot do justice to the scenes so I will not even try.

What will stay with me ? 

Will the movie make money, probably not but this is a master-class acting by Kamal Hassan who can conceive, execute and bank-roll this venture. 

The complexity of a lout / sinner (villain) who finds his Uttama (Nobility) in his dying days just opened my eyes how we view life and suffering as life-long but the life-span of a human is so short and we really do know what our priorities are. 

Love is complex and each relationship has its own ups and downs but what matters is expressing it on time before its too long.

Life is short and none of us are immortal but what we achieve in life can and will make us immortal, so make each day count 

Rise

This post on The Dark Knight Rises (TDKR) is long due now, one of the reasons to wait so long was not seem like a crazed fan-boy ( which off course I am ).   TDKR is a movie event I have been awaiting for the last 4 years after the Dark Knight which was a mind blowing movie which is the Gold Standard for a super hero movie. 

TDKR definitely was a good movie, not as enthralling or having memorable dialogues like its predecessor, the problem being no one could figure out what the hell Bane was saying behind his mask.  The best thing about the movie was the ending which still intrigues me even today, weeks after. 

The Batman actually hangs up his boots and leaves Gotham for good. A superhero who has had enough.  The Batman / Bruce Wayne unlike other superheros like Clark Kent / Peter Parker is not from a humble background or gifted with super powers.  The Batman was never about hope, it was always about channelizing his guilt of being an unwilling part in his parent's death because of his fear of bats. 

The Batman must surely go down in comic book history as one of the most clinically depressed, brooding superheroes who derived no peace in saving Gotham or putting criminals behind bars. 

Christopher Nolan through his Batman trilogy does give Bruce Wayne the perfect arc, starts off as an angry jock, finds his purpose in life in Batman Begins, encounters the Joker and the death of Rachel pushes him off the edge in the Dark Knight and finally in the third  installment he rises above his pain, guilt and anger to save Gotham and himself.

Both Harvey Dent and Bruce Wayne were great men but how each dealt with his pain made the difference, Bruce used his pain for good whilst Dent went down a destructive path. Eventually even Bruce had to move on. 

Remember no pain remains forever, no obligations or burden needs to be borne for eternity, no-one or nothing is irreplaceable ... not even The Dark Knight. 

Guide – An Enduring Classic

The Guide (1965 ) is based on the novel by R.K Narayan who also wrote the Malgudi Days, the movie adaption directed by Vijay Anand and stars Dev Anand-Waheeda Rahman in stellar performances.

Plot Summary 
Guide is about Raju (Dev Anand) who is a tourist guide and his complex relationship with Rosie (Waheeda Rahman) who is a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage with Marco
who is an archaeologist obsessed with his work.

Rosie turns suicidal but Raju comes into her life and helps her break free from her husband and mentors her to become a classical dancer with great success. They start living together which alienates Raju's family. Eventually his insecurities and access to instant wealth makes him jealous and gets  intimidated by her success. In a moment of indiscretion, he commits a forgery and he gets jailed and the difference of opinions drives a wedge in the relationship of Rosie and Raju. 

Once Raju leaves jail instead of returning to Rosie or his family, he runs away and he is mistaken for a saint in a village. Eventually due to a drought, the villagers persuade him to undertake a 12 day fast to evoke the rain Gods. 

Rosie, his mother and friends try persuading him to give up his fast but he refuses as he does not want to break the faith of the villagers. Eventually the faith of villagers is rewarded and Raju dies in the end but in the end after achieving true peace of mind and transforming from a man to an ideal.  

Takeaways from the Movie  

The first and most daring plot device of a woman in an unhappy marriage and her courage to walk out and have an affair with another man. For the 1960's India it was tremendous leap ahead to show a live in relation between Raju and Rosie. 

Secondly Rosie's pursuit of her dreams to become a dancer and how that leads to souring of her relationship with Raju who eventually succumbs to the typical insecurities. The depiction of an imperfect relationship is quite a refreshing change to the typical goody two shoes romances of the 60's Hindi cinema. 

Thirdly when Raju goes to the village, the depiction of rural India, abject poverty and the willingness of the masses to follow anyone as a spiritual guide / leadership. The rich have the luxury to entertain ideas of atheism and the triumph of science over religion but for the poor, only faith in a higher power God is the only comfort to live on another day. 

Fourthly the movie deals is the exploration of Hindu beliefs of the eternal soul and impermanent body, so when finally Raju dies for the village, it is not an unpleasant choice but actually an evolution in his mindset. The transformation of a impostor to an spiritual being is quite plausible and engaging.

Guide as the Metaphor 

The “Guide” is quite the metaphor, in the first phase, Raju is 'Tourist Guide' guiding people as his work, then he becomes 'Guide-Mentor' to Rosie to end her unhappy marriage and also become a successful dancer. The Third phase of his life is 'Guide-Guru' to the masses as the spiritual Guru. But the most significant transformation as 'Guide to Himself' when he is able to rise above his ego, attachments and pettiness to sacrifice his life for the people.

In the name of 'Bold' movies we are subjected to semi-pornographic movies these days but to be honest, Guide sans skin show was a bold, unconventional movie.  

Words do not do enough to describe this great classic of Indian cinema, I recommend you the reader to catch it soon. 

Mental Crutches

Last week, as my boss mentioned the new Smart Art graphics in power point presentations is making most presentations look the same. I had to agree with him, in the name of improving productivity the dependency on tooling is only dulling our creativity and other mental faculties.

Number Crunching - Thanks to caculators and excel sheets, even basic arthimetic has become impossible, both shop keepers and customers alike are clueless without technology.

Birthday Reminders – There was once a time, I could remember the birthdays of all my close friends and family members, then with the advent of social networks facebook and orkut, the dependency on social networks to remind us of birthdays leading to a large gap in memory.

Spelling – the most disturbing dependency I have fallen prey to is the spell check options in MS Word or even on google search. Now there are words for which I dont ever know the right spelling, just depend on auto corrections. My biggest fear now, writing an written exam on pen and paper.

Limiting Social Interactions – This is the most disturbing dependency which we have grown so fond of , when we could meet face to face, we have moved to cell phone conversations, from cell phone conversations, we have moved to text messenging and most uncapable to making human contact anymore.

Tablets / Smartphone fixation - Steve Jobs proudly claimed the iPad is the definitive post PC device and it is the end of the desktops and laptops. Although I agree desktops and laptops are clunky devices but typing on a glass surface is even more difficult. It is scientifically proven, devices like tablets and smartphones are more suited for passive consumption rather than comfortably typing or creating inputs.

Although technology is definitely taking humanity ahead, there are several de-humanising and limiting effects as well so that mental crutches we have grown to depend on needs to be reduced if not eliminated altogether. 

Why do we worry??

An experimental post - I tried using the 5 Why technique to find the root cause of a common problem of worrying.

Why do we worry?

Because we feel we lack control of our destiny  

Why do we feel the lack of control?

Because our plans don’t seem to work at all

Why don’t our plans work?

Because we cannot control things like the economy, people, family problems and other acts of God.

Can we control factors which are outside of our control?

No we need to have patience and wait for things to unfold!

Then why do we lack patience?

It is a lack of faith in our abilities.

Is Faith very important?

The best is to believe in a higher power like benevolent God or at least believe in yourself.

In a terrible situation we lose faith in ourselves and in doing so we also lose confidence in our skills and become a pale shadow of our former selves.

Its remarkable when you need courage the most, we fail. So the only answer to problems in life is having patience, by patience I don’t mean you put up with rubbish but wait enough time for your plans to succeed.

Indeed there will be days when patience will wear thin, those are the days you need to reach out to your friends and family.  Only our true can re-enforce the trust and remind us of our true abilities.

Even Lord Hanuman needed to be reminded of his true nature and skills before He could travel to Lanka to find Sita.

So never be lonely and keep your friends and family close and off course keep the faith

Personal Branding in Public Life

All of us in India and the NRI diaspora witnessed the Anna Hazare phenomenon and in spite of a few detractors but Anna has gathered a cult following and a credibility not shared by his contemporaries in activism Do names like T.N Seshan (Former Chief Election Commissioner )  or G.R Khairnar ( Former Mumbai Municipal Commissioner)  even ring a bell now. 

If you think about it what differentiates an Abdul Kalam from K. Kasturiragan (ISRO), Nehru from Sadar Patel, Manmohan Singh from Pranab Mukerjee or an Atal Bihari Vajpayee from Narsimha Rao. It is the role of personal branding, showcasing an unique eccentricity or quality which differentiates an individual from the other.

Single Status

A person who chooses to stay un-married in political life always seems to have an upper hand in public life and greater acceptability may it be Atal Bihari Vajpayee, Narendra Modi, Anna Hazare or the lady brigade of Jaya, Mamta and Maya.

A distinct Look/Accessory

Be it Manmohan Singh's blue turban, Gandhi's Dhoti, Anna's Topi or Dr APJ Abdul Kalam's funky hair-do or Hilter's Chaplinesqe moustache, having a distinct look creates a lasting image in the minds of the people.

An Armed forces Background

I am sure in all the forwards which glorified Anna Hazare all of them began with the line “Anna Hazare was a solider in the Indian Army ( he was a driver but that's besides the point). George Bush also had a military background which he leveraged well in political campaigns. 

The notion of sacrificing one's life for the country instantly improves the personal brand quotient.

Catchy Slogans/Simple Messaging

The problem with intellectuals like P.V Narsimha Rao, T.N Seshan they speak too long and don't simplify  the message. People do not like to be burdened with the complexity of life, they want a quick fix which is easily understandable. 

• Anna Hazare – Jan lok pal, Anti Corruption
• Obama – Yes we can
• Sonia Gandhi – Aam Aadmi
• Narendra Modi – Gujrat Astima, Vibrant Gujrat

Every one loves an underdog - “Not so priveleged background”

People who come from a tough / poverty stricken or a socially disadvantaged background gain a lot from the sympathy. Any message from a leader from this category automatically gains more credibility vis-a-vis a candidate from a more affluent background.

The debate is already skewed toward the street smart vis-a-vis the Ivy League or the IITian from a middle or upper middle class background. 

Inheritance of a grand legacy

It is also helpful if you can lay claim to an illustrious legacy, the easiest way is off course being born into one like Rahul Gandhi or Omar Abdullah. But the smarter individuals are those who can appropriate them directly from another individual. 

• Jayalalitha – MGR legacy
• Anna Hazare – The Gandhian Way
• Mayawati – The Kanchi Ram/Lower Caste Mobilization
• Abdul Kalam – Success of the Pokhran Nuclear Tests

Intellectuals lose out because they look too much like PLU ( people like us)

Inherently people of India or people in general appreciate a mystical quality and a persona which is not common, so speaking slowly or dressing up in suits / formal clothing will never make the cut. 

Although we may not admit it but its all about the branding. 

The faceless and silent Indians

The booming India middle class indulges in itself in luxury goods and foreign holidays, there is a class of Indian who are watching by silently. The maid servants,drivers and security staff, these often faceless people are facing life with a quiet dignity.

As India continues to shine and business news channel mull over issues like FDI, Sensex and corporate transitions  and discussions on how Inflation and petrol prices which we crib about idle Sunday evening chit-chats, the face is inflation hurts the slient Indians much more badly than us.  Over the years, I have had some interesting interactions which have stayed with me for long.

Security Guard outside a cyber kiosk (2002)

Star Wars – Attack of Clones had released, I used to frequent a government cyber / information kiosk which allowed 15 mins of free Internet surfing which was a big thing for an engineering student with limited pocket money. Once I was waiting for my turn, the security guard around 22-23 years began an interesting discussion on Maya graphics software and how animation was going to change Indian IT in the near term. He told you see the crowds in the Clone war they are all animated and there was no need for extras like they used in Mughal-e-Azam. He said he was saving up money to attend a Maya course and change his life.

I don't know if he did manage to enter the animation field eventually or succeed, but I loved the zeal in his eyes and his unwillingness to resign himself to a fate of a security guard.

Pickpocket in Mysore (2004)

Funny experience, I was in Mysore and had gone to drop my parents off at the bus stand. The bus stand was fairly crowded, since it was early morning I didn't take my wallet and was in my track pants without pockets. A pickpocket tried his luck and didn't find a pocket to pick. I quickly looked around at him and gave him a look, he gave me a sly smile, shrugged his shoulders and disappeared into the crowd.

Damn funny, an interesting day in the life of a pickpocket, you win some and lose some.

Cab driver in Bangalore (2009)

I met a very chatty and garrulous Tamilian cab driver, as I was leaving Bangalore and he was so interested in my life and admonished me for not getting married yet and predicted by next year 2010, I would be married ( which turned out correct). He spoke about the time he was a personal driver in Mumbai and Chennai and how becoming a cab driver in fleet taxis is far comfortable with medical benefits and steady incomes. In fact he mentioned fleet cabs today are looking for steady reliable drivers and they are indeed paid well and not over worked. In fact he wanted his son to join the cab fleet, he is a B.Com graduate and wants to do a MCA or MBA. He also asked me about prospects in the IT industry.

An extremely talkative but mind at peace sort of person, I really wish his son succeeds in life and doesn't need to become a taxi cab driver like his father.

Auto wala in Mumbai (2010)

I met an auto driver in Chembur and he said once he was plying near Ghatkopar during monsoons and visibly disturbed old man asked him to take him to a hospital near Sion. He said its not possible as the water logging is intense and vehicle will get stuck. The elderly man said please take me, my mother is unwell and I am ready to pay Rs 500 for 40 bucks ride.

The auto walla said no saab, not need for the extra money and took the guy to the hospital. It also turned out the lady needed continuous blood transfusions and since auto wala was a local Shiv-Sainik, he contacted the blood donor group and ensured enough donors for the elderly man.

The elderly man was actually a senior trustee in a reputed educational institute and promised the driver an confirmed admissions for his kids as sign of gratitude as the auto wala did not accept money as reward.

The auto driver has been able to put 2 of his children and one nephew in one of Mumbai well known colleges with little cost. This amazing tale really amazes me how a kind deed comes back multi fold.

Maid in Pune (2011)

We have a maid in Pune and she makes rotis for lunch at work. One day, we had run out of atta ( wheat flour) and I hadn't found time to buy the same. We assumed today no chappatis and behold our maid brings atta from her home. She was hesitant and asked us if we would eat flour from her house as she knew we had run out of atta. She was apprehensive as caste barriers still exist in society. We were amazed by her kindness and accepted her offer.

This act really touched me and till today, I think its a great example of going beyond the call of duty. Instead of taking a day off, she had the heart to share her food with us.

Conclusion

The Indian middle class is doing well and has little to complain yet we find so much misery in our lives but there is a large section which struggling to make ends meet, instead of cynicism and envy, they contastly surprise us with enthusiasm. The rich class often treat them with disdain, we don't mind spending thousands in malls and clothes but if a maid wants a 200 rupees raise or day off on Diwali, we throw a fit.

Whenever I see building Kachra wali (housekeeper) an elderly lady clearing the dust bins with toothless smile or the milk man who listens to bhajans on his cell phone loudly and delivering milk with a smile, I realize there is a better work ethic and instead of running the rat race, enjoy the moment and spread joy to people we come in touch in our day to day lives.  

5 Cs of Relationships

As I see most of my peer group from school, college and colleagues finally settling down in matrimony, it takes me back a long time to my teenage days when this fascination for getting into a perfect relationship first germinated.

The endless discussions with friends on love marriage versus arranged marriage and what qualities you look for in your life partner questions were done to death those days. Many die-hard proponents of love marriage ended up in proper matrimony suggested by parents and incredibly some seeda-saada chupe rustoms ended up with life partners of their choice. ( No names here :) )

As brash youngsters we start life imagining we have all the answers and total control of our lives; Only with time and experience the truth dawns on us, its not so simple. Sitcoms like How I Met your Mother and F.R.I.E.N.D.S play on the question which  is on the mind of very single person on this planet – 

When will I meet the right person and more importantly how will I know ?.

There is a romantic answer when it happens when it happens but as a Engineer/MBA I had to drill it down to a formula. ( ya right :P )

Here goes 5 Cs of the perfect relationship

Chemistry:- The first spark in any relationship is the irresistible attraction which is often irrational when hormones begin to rage. Chemistry has a role to play in a relationship, unfortunately people attach to much importance to it than needed as youth/looks are transient.  

Compatibility:- I never believe the old adage opposites attract. A shared context and values which can take a relationship forward when the heady attraction subsides. The question comes into my mind is do you see yourself with this person 50 years from now.

Convergence:- Sometimes we meet the right kind of person and we do seem to get along like fire but then unfortunately there is no convergence in goals or dreams. Such kind of relationships are quite troublesome while you do want to make them work but the burden of killing your dreams doesn't make them worth it. Long distance relationships often brings in long lasting cracks instead.

Communication: In every relationship, there are bound to be disagreements and small annoying flaws, but the only way to deal with them is open dialogue and communication. Talking aloud makes all the difference. I am not saying ranting and going ballistic is going to help, but soft spoken objective interactions can go a long way in soothing nerves and making that difference.

Conviction: People today lack the patience and conviction to make a relationship work. Its all lovey-dovey at first, but at the first sign of trouble, people crumble and seek the exit route. This only leads to a series of unfulfilled relationships which leaves one emotionally exhausted. In life there are bound to be ups and downs, it is better to have that one anchored relationship which can help you navigate through life instead of drifting aimlessly.

Finally be it a man or a woman have faults, its remarkable how two imperfect beings seek a perfect relationship. But by adhering these 5 principles, any relationship can be improved greatly.

The Striver and Drifter

Yesterday I watched 2 interesting movies Black Swan and 7 Khoon Maaf. This post is not a movie review per say but looking closer at the title characters played by Natalie Portman (Nina) and Priyanka Chopra (Suzanna) and how they represent 2 distinct character types the striver and the drifter.

The Striver: Nina is a good ballet dancer who has had an unremarkable career for almost 4 years. Her dream is become the lead dancer and achieve glory and perfection. When she gets the dream role her real ordeal begins. The rest of movie looks at how coming so close to achieving her dream changes her equations with her family, friends and her own self worth.

Characteristics of a striver

• Extremely passionate, hardworking and ambitious person 
• The ambition is very lofty and borders on almost unhealthy obsession 
• Unfortunately hard work is no substitute in some cases for raw talent. 
• The person focuses too much on skill/techniques than you stop enjoying life 
• Family and friends become secondary, that you are like a horse with blinkers 
• You lose perspective and unable to handle failure or pressure. 
• A striver often ends up hurting oneself emotionally than any enemy ever could. 

Needless to say, although ambition, drive is essential for one to succeed in one’s chosen field, but an unhealthy obsession doesn’t helps cause. Sometimes person does not even know his/her own key strengths and her purpose in life and may be chasing some fancy or living out a parent’s unfulfilled dreams.

The Drifter: Suzanna is a woman with considerable beauty and wealth at her disposal. In her quest for true love, she constantly re-invents herself to match up to her current husband/lover. E.g.: becoming a rocker girl for her rock star boyfriend, a deep interest in Urdu when she courts a poet. She soon finds something wrong in her life and she kills her husband and but soon enough she is optimistic again to pursue true love.

Characteristics of a drifter

• A distinct lack of an ambition/ focus in life
• Although natural talent helps one achieve his/her short term goals there is no real effort to achieve perfection
• Prone to blame others for one’s problems with a victim complex
• Extremely fickle minded, today want to become a swimmer tomorrow a violin player.
• Unable to break a vicious self destructive pattern in life

The Real world: Although each of us really wants to achieve success in our chosen field, success has several components: - skill, efforts, networking, ability to unlearn and relearn, luck and patience.

Sometimes we may just not have what it takes to reach the pinnacle. Although millions want to become a Sachin Tendulkar or a Roger Federer only a handful will ever reach that space.

But it is certain neither a drifter or a striver will ever be happy in life as their approach is very much skewed. Ironically although a drifter and striver seem very different on the surface but what they are doing is actually the same thing. Having a fixed pattern in life and keep repeating it over and over.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result - Albert Einstein

PS: What I really thought about the two movies;
Black Swan an amazing concept well executed and great performance by Natalie Portman and others.
7 Khoon Maaf is tad gimmickry driven, although the premise is interesting it is led down by predictable linear screen play. Although Priyanka Chopra was valiant enough to attempt this but the role was way out of her league.

The travails of the 21st Century workplace

Even though, a young professional of 25-26 years of age earns more than what his/her parent draws as a monthly salary, there is little to suggest there is more happiness or prosperity in today’s life. Just got me wondering in spite of increased salaries and better facilities and a 2 day weekend, what is going so awry?

Longer Work hours

Then: In the old days, it was about punching in 8 hours a day. Come in at 9 am and leave by 5 pm dropping everything in hand.

Now:we have flexi timings – you can come in when you want but cannot leave till your manager wants :P sounds lot like Hotel California.

Competitive Workplace and Title Race

Then: Parents worked years at the same role and looked up to becoming an assistant manage or DGM. Time bound promotions was the norm with no critical appraisals. The title held a lot of respect and honor and it took years to achieve it.

Now: you have 6 monthly appraisals and all your achievements are brushed off and you are told you barely meet expectations and made to fight for your rightful compensation. Funnily titles/ designations are thrown a plenty. How 25-26 years become senior consultants / AVPs are beyond me. 

Where are the perks/benefits really ?

Then: Even if the take home salary in a govt. job, life time pension, job security, access to medical care/insurance and affordable living quarters ensured a higher quality of life.

Now: Although the monthly pay-packet may seem bigger, paying for medical care and financial planning post retirement are big questions which need to be addressed.

Traffic and long commutes

Now: the explosion in traffic and infrastructure projects means it takes longer to commute to and fro. Believe me getting struck in traffic for hours adds to the daily misery after a long day at work.

Financial independence is now taken for granted – since jobs a plenty

Then: Getting a job was tougher, also the Indian economy was growing lot slower and in a license raj driven environment, career advancement was very slow and steady. People were genuinely grateful to be employed.

Now: With job hops and campus placements, people today haven't really seen struggle in their life, financial independence has become much easier;

How to reclaim the happiness and avoid work related stress ?

Increasingly people are turning to alcohol, binge eating, insane partying and shopping to cope with the emptiness in life. A few sensible ones turn to spirituality or new age gurus like Sri Sri and the Art of Living. There is an acknowledgement there needs to more than just professional life in a person's life.

It is important to re view relationships with family, spouse and friends which is losing prominence in 21^st work life culture and make amends. Its ironic when some one is unhappy, he/she stops doing what they love best. Anyway its never too late to re-claim your life.

Pick up again on your hobby, call that old friend and relive the fun times. Take the vacation, learn to worry less, leave office early for a change. Remember money is important but not everything in life. Opt for work from home when possible. Watch movies, read books go for a romantic date, hit a gym, do something for the society. Do solid financial planning and retire soon.

There are 100 different dimensions to you outside to your professional life. Learn to embrace it and set yourself free.

Don't measure everything in terms of Return on Investment but learn to take decisions based on Return on Life - ( Quote reference – Jamal/Quebin)

P.S : I confess I am yet to reach this stage but let today be the first day in my new life.

First Love

Bittu was very excited today because she was going to come home today. He always hated his mom's music classes for years. But for past few weeks his mind had changed.
He never believed in love or cheesier concepts of love at first sight, but he was having second thoughts now. There was something about her which drew him so explicitly.

He was never uncomfortable with attention before. Girls had always found him cute and loved to pull his cheeks. He totally hated that but he was ready to make an exception
for her. Although he was so excited with the new feelings but he was bit confused. Life had become fuzzy in the last few weeks, it became the waits between the times she would
come in for her singing classes.

Man, she had the voice and the eyes of an angel. He worried if she knew how he felt, also if she felt the same way. Somehow he wanted a way to know how. One thing he knew asking
her out straight away would be too risky, play it cool. Next time, she came over he asked her, he greeted her, She replied “Hi Bittu how are you ?”, hmmm Sona you err...want to watch a movie.
“Sure only if you will you buy me popcorn?. but only Caramel ok". Man that was easy, Bittu thought with a sigh of relief.
His feelings were not hidden from his parents, especially his Mom.Mom asked what “Bittu challa (loads) feelings for Sona aah ?”. Bittu blushed taken in partly by surprise mostly by shock.
But slowly he admitted “yes I love her. Mom should I tell her?” Mom said “ No Beta let me talk to her, waise aren't you too young for this?”.
Next time Sona came for classes, Bittu was hiding in his room peeking with anxiety and excitement what will she said. But Mom knows best. She asked “Sona will you marry my Bittu?”
Ouch, very subtle Mom so very subtle, there goes any chance of even looking at her face to face forget giving this relationship a chance. Sona blushed for a second, she said
“why not Aunty, Bittu is so cute”. Wow that was easy. Days went by, as we spent time together life seemed perfect. But one day everything came crashing down....

Sona's mother came over one day. She came with sweets and greeted Mom. “Charulatha, Sona's marriage is fixed, boy is MBA and works with the IT industy and works in Gurgaon.Ladka is very nice”.
Mom said, “ great news Saritha, good good so Sona will relocate then.” Bittu felt he got hit by lighting. The feelings and dreams which felt so real came crumbling down.

That devilish girl, she led me on for so long. Why? My parents instead of raging and taking my side, are congrating that girl and her family. Is this what love stands for? Why was I such a fool?
Even though, the bitter pill of betrayal was hard to take, his undying love for Sona was even more hurtful. Why could he not forget her, why does she still seem the angel he fell for.

Sure she was older than him, She 23 years old and him all of 4 years.

Love still hurts doesnt it. Yes Bittu will learn to love again, but that first flush of emotions will always remain special. First Love indeed :-)

PS: Loosely based on a true story

Once upon a Time ...

There was once a time, when I was first introduced to the term “generation gap” and I was on the right side of it. I was the young generation and parents never understood us. Now as time has passed and the new Facebook generation taking over, I have already started feeling the effects of being on the wrong side. I grew up as a kid in late 80’s and all through 90’s. I had my first computer only in my second year of engineering and learned about yahoo messenger in as late as 2004 (total technology laggard J ).

Life has changed a lot in India since 1991, and liberalization has touched our lives profoundly. So here goes.

Friends

Then: We had 1 best friend and 4-5 good friends and a dozen hi-bye friends

Now: we have 500 friends on orkut, 350 friends on facebook and some lost souls who still use yahoo messenger or hotmail God knows why?

Television

Then: I had one television channel Doordarshan and my black and white EC TV had only 1 channel, so to watch Thunderball and Johny Soko and the Giant Robot I had to go to my neighbor’s house to watch DD II.

Now: We have 32 inch LCD TVs and DTH connections, but who watches TV today it’s the boring same old Saas bahu and Reality shows crap. We watch only sports or new channels occasionally.

Relationships

Then: If you liked a girl, you had to call her landline and pray to god, her Dad didn’t pick up and you had to identify yourself. Getting into a relationship was a big deal and you had to face lots of parental pressure.

Now: you can IM her, sms her, scrap her, leave her a message on FB and if things move voice / video chat with her with no fear of Dad Mom or bhaiya ! Although life is much easier, the thrill of the older days kahan ! Breaking up is so easy; falling in and out of love is very common. Your parents are glad you aren’t gay and you have found a person of the opposite gender.

Music /Movies

Then: You had a 2 in 1 National Panasonic or Sanyo player; you purchased cassettes and heard them over and over again. If you are well off you had a VCR and played VHS tapes on it.

Now: You have DVD players, VCD players which you hardly use, you have laptops and external hard disks but you end up watching movies and listening to music on you new shiny Apple iPod.

Cinema Theaters

Then: Single screens ruled the roost, 30 rupees stall and 50 rupees balcony seemed expensive, 20 rupees for pop-corn which looks pretty oily and manufactured from a sidey location. To watch an English Movie, you had to go to Regal or Sterling in South Mumbai. The only English movie we knew was Terminator and Rambo and Arnold and Stallone were our favorite English Actors J

Now: We only go to multiplexes now as low brow crowd go to single screens and playing 200 bucks per ticket is no big deal, pop-corn looks much better but it costs twice as much a balcony ticket in the old days. The theatre name is no longer a brand nowadays its PVR, INOX, Fun Cinemas or IMAX. Sadly Metro, Basant and New Vijay are closed now to become shopping centers and surviving few relegated to screening Bhojpuri movies.

Sports /Games

Then: We all played cricket in the summers and when it rained we would be miserable and play football for a change. Our first and cherished video games were Mario, Contra and Duck Hunt.

Now: Now hardly kids play outside and are glued to the computer or the cell phone. Multi player games like Counterstrike or games like God of War, Grand theft auto rule the roost. The era of couch potatoes is truly upon us.

Although I agree life has gotten lot easier since I was a kid, but the simple pleasures of life have been robbed from this generation. Kids are experiencing failures in relationships and peer pressure in whole different ways than the past. Social networking sites have made people lives so open to strangers to the point of becoming a tamasha. The business of relationship status or discussing personal life thread bare on a social networking site is frankly beyond me. That apart, spending money in malls, restaurants or branded clothes has become little too easy, the pocket money comes more easily as parents have little time to spend with them.

Today whenever I see a teenage guy sitting with his girl friend and having a fight in a food-court in a mall somewhere, I feel glad to have grown up in the early 90s J when life was lot easier.

What happened to my TV ?

Before the era of liberalization, India was a sleepy nation which had few choices in terms of cars, scooters or Television (Ambassador, Bajaj Chetak or good old DD). As reforms kicked in, the standard of living has improved and so has the choices increased. As economists state as competition increases, competitiors have to differenitiate on quality and so it is better for customer. Right?

Wrong at least in Indian Television, I feel things have taken a turn for the worse. Earlier, we had Doordarshan which is played versatile role of entertainment with shows like Hum Log, Buniyaad, comedy like Flopshow, Dekh bhai Dekh and informative shows like Turning Point and Surabhi. The sheer range of programming was fantastic. True, DD benefited from a monopoly of being the only broadcaster in the country so the finest talent had only one platform to showcase their skills.

Circa 2010 :

We have 130+ news channels and several General Entertainment channels; definitely a viewer’s delight and advertisers’ misery on which TV channels and spots to target to maximize eyeballs. The focus has shifted to formula driven TV rather than being a creative platform to educate and entertain the audience.

General Entertainment Channels

One day, I surfed through Colors, Starplus, Sahara One, Zee TV, Sony and Imagine. Just shows about well dressed Saas-bahu soaps with dramatic music. So I got bored, I thought I will follow music channels, MTV, Channel V and UTV Bindass, what do I see young wannabe in reality shows who have learnt the choicest of expletives. You cannot follow much except the BEEP BEEP BEEP. Apparently market research by some firms have convinced target segment for GEC are only housewives or college going youth who want 2 mins of fame.

News Channels

New channels are no less, all of them will follow the exact same breaking news; A channel will claim an exclusive interview with Hillary Clinton, within 15 mins other channel will run an interview with the same celebrity; did people forget the definition of exclusivity? The Hindi channels keep running clips of film stars, wrestler Khali and TV stars who I don’t know at all. The hindi news channels are pathetic to say the least and the English media is pretentious and is ever cynical and prying on the negatives of each story. As a journalist, the focus is not bringing out facets of a story but only pick out the titillating crude aspects which have shock value. My most hated TV news anchor is Arnab Goswami, his modus operandi, get a large panel and he keeps talking all the time. He pushes his personal opinions down the viewers’ throat with smugness and screeching tone. He asks Lalit Modi “please touch your heart and tell us the truth”, ya right, Lalit is going to tell us the truth on prime time (Hopeless). The only news channel which has some credibility left is NDTV 24x7, Barkha, Dr Roy and Vikram Chandra still hold out some hope yet for Indian TV journalism.

Television today has become victim of TRP/TAM ratings syndrome, TV channel owners are ready to accept blindly the ratings/research of certain media agencies; thus they are appealing to the least common denominator of the audience; there are islands of viewers who’s sensibilities and interests which are going a begging. Today’s TV cannot hold a candle to the enduring icons of yesteryears like Jaspal Bhatti, Pankaj Kapoor or Girish Karnad or characters like Karamchand, Rajini or Mungrilal. Today its about hype and less about enduring legacies.

Hoping for a better Television viewing until then I remise about the good old days of DD when Fauji, Circus, Nukkad, Mahabharat, Giant Robot and Star Trek ruled the roost.

Why be Good in this Bad World ?

It has been a while since I blogged, of late I found greater pleasure in reading rather than writing; a book which really impressed me recently was “The Difficulty of being Good” by Gurcharan Das, it explores various themes of morality and right conduct by closely examining the various characters of Mahabharatha. In my view Mahabharatha is a fantastic layered epic which raises uncomfortable questions with no straight forward answers. It addresses the most simple question why be good when we see evil people prospering around us ?

The case of Sage Kaushik

Sage Kaushik was in the forest, when a tired and scared person came running to him. He pleaded to him please don’t reveal my hiding place as some road side robbers are trying to kill him as he witnessed a crime and ran into the woods. The robbers followed soon and asked the revered sage “We know as a sage, you will not lie please tell us where did that man go?” Sage Kaushika was in a dilemma to uphold truth or save the man’s life. He chose to tell the truth, and the man was captured and killed.

The sage was sent to hell, as dharma suggests saving a life (Ahimsa) takes precedence over (Satya) an unpleasant truth.

Reservations Right or Wrong ?

It is so natural for us to speak against any sort of affirmative action as we feel it compromises merit, but it also a fact for centuries the truely backward sections of society were denied basic human rights forget even right to education, which gives a fair chance to life. Eklavya and Karna were 2 heros who were denied their place in the sun thanks to privileges granted to Arjuna as a prince. I agree blanket quotas for eternity is not a solution as two wrongs do not make a right, but just that we need to find a common ground.

How the media feeds on Envy

Seeing the negative publicity our sportsmen and actors get, every small indiscretion gets blown out of proportion, why is that we love to see our heros fall. It may be case of envy, we do earn for a certain lifestyle either money, fame or power, when this aspects elude us we get vicarious pleasure to see some one fail. Envy is a great sin which corrodes your soul slowly. It can be explicit like Duryodhan or hidden like his father Dhritarashtra who secretly enjoyed when the Pandavas lost the gambling game. Why is that when SL, NZ and WI teams have also crashed out, their media has not gone on a witch hunt unlike our media. The media like the modern day Shakuni feeds on our envy for its gain. ( Some what I keep media bashing a lot in my posts more on in later)

Why should I pay taxes ?

Why should I be the nice guy when the whole world profits via wrong means, the rich business men don't pay taxes why should i bear the burden. Why do bad people enjoy when the good suffer and get nothing for their goodness. The question which Drupadi asks Yudhisthira. The simple answer to this is for the world to be sustainable, some one has to lead the change for good. By the moral courage of the few, can go on make a difference in the world.

why treachery will never give us lasting happiness ?

Finally, the Pandavas resort to treachery to win over the Kauravas, that only leds to more sorrow and anguish as Ashwathama kills the sons of Pandavas and other warriors in night breaking all rules of conduct. The epic ends with a pyrrhic victory with much sorrow to the victors.

Conclusion

So Why should we be good in this world, is it fear of God or Karma theory ? Both of which I feel were made up by mankind to ensure a feeling of natural justice and we retain our sanity in unfair circumstances. The epic shows us humanity through various dimensions like a light falling on a prism and encourages us to draw our own conclusions.

My personal take being fair is the only true sustainable way to co-exist with society and nature. Although I don't encourage pacifism but a vendetta driven society will only spiral into further destruction and devastation.

Aren’t we all somehow like Alice in Wonderland ?

Alice in Wonderland even though considered a children’s novel had lots of quirky characters and moments. That is why I was really looking forward to Tim Burton’s take on this classic. Burton himself is known for his bizarre take on Batman, The planet of the apes and Edward Scissorhands. Surprisingly the director opted for a simple linear tale of Alice returning to wonderland after many years and how she fights the evil Red Queen. Although the movie was bit disappointing you do realize the characters in Wonderland are not so alien after all and we all have in fact encountered people like them in our daily lives.

The Red Queen: The feared queen who is bit conscious of her rather large head and that insecurity makes her more aggressive towards people. Somewhere she does wonder if its better to be loved than feared; however her natural aggressive nature takes over she feels only fear is the instrument of controlling people around her.

The Mad Hatter: Although he is extremely eccentric and quixotic, he has the dream of over throwing the red queen one day. But then as Alice comments in the end, it’s the mad people who end up doing great things. One delightful scene in the movie was when the Chester Cat asks him for his hat as he would have no use for it post his execution. The Hatter declines and replies it is a formal event so I must look my best. (Classic Johnny Depp J)

The White Queen: Although she resents the rule of Red Queen, as she is bound to her vows of not harming another life she is unable to take action, it is similar of so many of us bound by bonds of relationship, or misplaced loyalty lacking the courage what is correct.

Alice: She jumps into the rabbit hole to avoid a marriage proposal which she was being forced to marry against her will. Once in wonderland she is expected to become a warrior to take on the Red Queen. She is a girl on whom the world always seems to hoist unreasonable expectations on. Although no one can avoid one’s fate, she does fulfill her destiny as a liberator on her own terms.

To conclude, the key message from the movie although we do cannot avoid our fate or destiny but we do have the choice to make the right choice with courage, win or lose it is important to do what is right. Running from away from life will never solve problems in fact compound them even further as Alice finds out by hopping into the rabbit hole.

Remember life is like that rabbit hole, the more you run the worse it gets !

White Knights in Peril !

On January 14^th 2010, a RTI Activist Satish Shetty was murdered on the streets on Pune when he was out on a morning walk. The reason, he dared to take on the Land Mafia and he exposed these scams by using the Right to Information Act. When I thought about this incident, I felt a sense of déjà-vu when previous honest and upright officials were killed like Satyendra Dubey and Manjunath were killed by groups whose interests lie in a corrupt rotting system. The cinematic parallel which I can draw to these incidents is from the Dark Knight, the district attorney Harvey Dent who is the White Knight, the revolutionary change agent who operates within the system is targeted and finally driven insane by the evil Joker even as Batman the dark knight outlawed vigilante is helpless to save Dent and his fiancé.

With death of such honest and upright activists and with little or no help coming forward for these brave men and women, when and how can we even hope that justice will be served one day and guilty will be punished for their crimes. People have selective memories and don’t really want to confront the ugly truth, all is not well but as long as it is not hitting me in the face it is fine, it is someone else’s problem not mine.

4 Reasons why it is so perilous to be a White Knight in today’s world.

Rotten Police System – Indian Police department must be one of the most inapproachable police forces in the world, there is so much fear in each reaction, for simple tasks for pass-port verification you have to grease their palms. My personal experience with a police sub-inspector when I wanted to report the pick-pocketing of my mobile phone, he forced me to report it as misplaced and saying does the pick-pocket have personal grudge to steal your phone, ( I mean which pick-pockets has personal grudges, ridiculous policing it is embarrassing to even think such a department functions )

Paralyzed Judiciary – The judiciary is considered to be one of more fair and robust legal systems, but look at the inordinate delays in getting justice, cases drag on for decades, the recent Ruchika molestation case took 19 years to conclude and the convict getting 6 months imprisonment. There are cases which have been benefited from the media coverage there are tonnes of cases which have been buried in paper work and delays.

Fickle Media Coverage – The media which claims be independent is today firmly focused on covering stories which will generate TRPs and responses on the websites, and smses alone. Although media honchos will lament on twitter about farmer suicides, on prime time he wants Saif and Kareena on air to make up the numbers. The way Satish Shetty murder case has received in main stream media is testament of how media works. Satish does not fit the urban profile of IIT/IIM grad or a glamorous movie-star, he was a brave man who used RTI to fight against Land Mafia, he is swept away like the stories of atrocities in the North-East or farmer issues, non glamorous and not-relatable to urban, elite upper middle class and so does not fit in.

Bureaucrats/Politicians – Less said the better, they are part of the problem not part of the solution.

The Cliché – Be the change you want to see

This is a quotation used in every situation and used to push a person down by putting the onus squarely on the shoulders of the individual, but in any kind of a change revolution you need a strong symbol of hope, that symbol must be strong and able to face the pressures, Mahatma Gandhi a leader whose personality was so towering that even the British were scared for him to come to harm. I believe this symbol can emerge only from either the elite class or the poor class. The elite class has enough power to defend what is theirs, and the poor classes have nothing to lose. The Indian middle class will always lament and indulgence in arm-chair criticisms (case in point this blog-post). It is not easy to stand up and be counted when you have lot to lose and little hope to win.

Hope and Faith

Faith is very critical for man to go on, once the faith in the system is lost, it is very difficult to motivate self to try to bring a change in the system. I agree it takes great courage to be a White Knight in this world. I salute the few brave who stand up in-spite of grave danger to property and self. Until, a powerful leader who can galvanize the system for a radical change the White Knights will be in peril.

My Top Five Favourite Movie Moments

I was watching Munnabhai MBBS and saw one of my really favorite movie moments and was inspired to think about the really wonderful movie moments which have stayed with me over the recent years.

Number 5 – V for Vendetta

The protagonist V who is an freedom fighter/terrorist who breaks into the official news channel of a fascist British Government and ignites the minds of the masses who have been subdued by a dictator for several years now. It is not a well known movie so I am reproducing the dialogue for better context.

“Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.”

It is a fantastic scene, especially in the post 9/11 scenario, or even if you consider closer home, the mindset of certain politicians offering security and strong governance who vilify the Muslim community and take a us versus them stance. Secondly creating a campaign of fear,death and destruction. It is remarkable even the tyrannical dictators in the Muslim countries and the Taliban project the western world as a threat and brainwash the people by propaganda,fear,and control through censorship. The strong message from this scene despite all pressures, we must never lose ground and hold our political class accountable to us instead of the other way around.

Number 4 – Munnabhai MBBS

The Parsi Dr. Rustam's old father who has lost the will to live and gives up eating is brought to the hospital and is administered saline drips. Munna bhai and Circuit play a game of carrom to revive the old man's spirits. The touching message from the moment is that at any stage of life, its the will to live and something to look forward too in life which keeps a man going. The legendary dialogue being ..”carrom khelanu, juice piyanu .. Mazzani life !!”

Number 3 – Kal Ho Na Ho

I know it could offend some purists that a Karan Johar flick comes in my top 5 list, but the scene when saif is going to propose to preity, she comes and tells him that she loves SRK and if she is mad enough to think if he will accept. Saif says “koi pagal hi hoga joh tumse pyaar nahi karega abhi jao” with such intensity, that really stayed with me for every guy who has ever had a crush on a good friend and he had to tell her the right thing, that she go for the other guy. Friendship winning over personal feelings is so bitter sweet !

Number 2 – The Dark Knight

Although critics and fans rave about the Joker's performance and his anchary the character for whom I really felt strongly about in the movie was Harvey Dent, a sane morally strong man who is reduced to a n psychotic killer who loses all his faith and belief in the world and system.

“You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair.”

The solution which the batman could give the people was the need to have faith, and he takes the fall for the crimes committed by Harvey.

"Sometimes people don't need the truth, they deserve something better... they need to have their faiths rewarded."

The irony being Alfred his butler burning Rachel's letter telling Bruce Wayne that she loves Dent and wants to marry him and lets Bruce believe that one day Rachel would have come back to him underlying the fact even a superhero is vulnerable and needs faith more than truth was the fantastic climax to this brilliant movie. I wished this movie picked up more Oscars than it really did.

Number 1 – Lagaan

The villagers are upset with Bhuvan, that he pit them in this impossible match against the British and vow not to assist him in this foolhardy mission. Bhuvan and the young boy Tipu play the game in the centre of the village to attract the attention of the village folks. “Koi badi baat nahi Tipu,hum isle gilli danda kehte hai aur angrez isse crickut”.

He misses the ball twice, the entire village watches the 3rd ball, and the hopes, fear and tension of the villagers mount and Bhuvan sends the ball crashing to the temple bell and the mute guy Bhagga joins the team and slowly people's faith is won step by step. For me, that moment of gaining the faith of the people was a far more satisfying scene than the 1 hour plus cricket match climax.

So these were my favorite top 5 movie moments, the one which closely missed out the list was Forrest Gump, who goes back to save his friend Bubba in Vientam war zone. Bubba is fatally wounded, has a look at Forrest, smiles and says “I knew you would come back for me” and dies. The sheer beauty of true friendship and faith was conveyed so subtly by the director.

These were my favorite movie moments so tell me what was yours ?

Love, Friends and Sitcoms

One interesting thing to notice regarding the themes running common in the most popular sitcoms in the era :- F.R.I.E.N.D.S , How I met your Mother and Coupling ( BBC Brit Comedy I am addicted to these days) is love and friendship. Why are these two themes so universal, I guess the reason is that these are two relationships which a person chooses for himself and it is not imposed by him by nature or society. 

It is also bit ironic, that the relations in which we have the greatest freedom to choose, makes us the most vulnerable. These are the relationships which give us the greatest joy and despair. Guess, that is the price we have to pay for the freedom.

The inspiration for this post is me watching back to back episodes of How I met your Mother season II for past 2 weekends which I finished shortly before starting this post. So the main characters in this serial really represent the various views people hold regarding a relationship. 

Ted – Who believes in true love and the concept of finding the one and yes bit unlucky in love

Robin – an independent woman who finds commitment and marriage unacceptable

Lily and Marshall – The college sweethearts who have been eternally together and symbol of true love for all other friends in the group. I guess we all have such a couple in our friend circles although you do admire them but there is always a tinge of envy if we too could find some one special like that.

Barney - A chronic bachelor who loves the single life who seems shallow and callous on the surface but does have a warm side as good friend who however is cynical towards the some one special concept.

The season 2 beings with Lily and Marshall broken up and Ted and Robin getting together. The journey sees ups and downs for both couples with Lily and Marshall getting married whilst Ted and Robin breaking up for good at the end of season.

One more interesting dimension of this serial, it is set in the future Ted telling his children how he met their mother. It is known to the viewers that Robin is not the some one special but Ted does not know that yet and he believes in the magic of this current relationship and goes through it with smiles and tears on the way. 

The beauty of the serial lies in the fact the true identity of the mother is never revealed but it always ends with the promise of a better tomorrow for Ted.

Life often does not follow plans perfectly but it often turns out more perfect than planned. Keep the faith ! 

Random Images ....

For a while now, I have been thinking for a theme to blog on but some how, nothing seems that pertinent to write on elections, hate speeches or monster dads. So just decided to pen my thoughts on some random images which have stayed with me for the past week or so.

A perky 4 year old kid in a train

I saw the kid in the train accompanied by his parents and he was one cocky, loud kid screaming his lungs out at 6.00 am in the morning and at that time did not seem cute at all to me or the co-passengers. But there were two stand out moments in the journey though

• At one point of time, the train was going really slow, he said mom i will get down and push the train to move faster, his mother giggled at this show of strength the kid obviously hurt said he is really strong and pick up the train too with all seriousness
  
• Second really funny moment was when the kid was given a drawing book to color and he was to color Mickey Mouse, the kid ended up coloring the entire page black and saying mom see how fast I can color with proud approving glances from mommy dearest !

What can I say, the innocence and the perkiness of the kid and love of the supportive mother made this image stick on my mind.

A photo of a newly wed bride

Thanks to the update features of social networking sites, the most often thing you see are newly updated photos, and I saw one such photograph which captured a very serene and peaceful look of a newly wedded bride. I mean there was love and happiness in the eyes too, but the strong sense of completeness which has come about by the union was very apparent.

The reason the image stuck in my head is probably I often see people happy and over excited which often is short lived and leads to strife soon but then we do find the one eventually after a few bumps on the way and we know it is the bond of a lifetime the moment is rather special.

Old Age a Reality Check

I met a relative of mine close to 7-8 years later and found him a completely changed person, teeth gone, sagging shoulders and mentally very tired. As a kid, I remember him as a very sharp, intelligent and well dressed person but time has taken severe toll due to illness and other problems.

This image did shake me up a bit, I cannot generalize but I always behave like I am going to live for ever and I take a few things for granted youth, intellect and health perhaps I did exist in a bubble of illusion. The bubble has finally burst and I do have food for thought.

Summary

If I have to just put a common theme around these three images, in childhood we are rambunctious and so full of life, we do not know what lies in store in the future. In our youth we face our victories and defeats which shape our lives. Finally time catches up with us and we fade away inevitably.

Quoting from a movie I saw long back, which had these closing lines which are apt here

"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives, but I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived"

The choice is up to us if we want to fear time as an enemy or enjoy the moments as they come.

The importance of being Assertive ...

The inspiration for this article was a soft skills training I attended recently. Most folks attend such trainings because they are on bench or like the pretty instructor or similar such nefarious intentions, but this session on assertiveness did force me to think a lot about it for several days.

In today's world people seem to operate at extremes only. If we see the actions of the Taliban or extremists attacking the civil world or the US trying to bomb Afghanistan and Iraq into submission. In India itself, the self appointed 'moral' police who are uncultured brutes who resort to aggressive tactics to suppress the rights of women. The usual common man in India backs down to such pressure and does not bother to vote and takes the passive way out to deal with the world. What both sides are missing is the virtue of assertiveness

Let us take a simpler closer to home example, how many of us have been mollycoddled into doing something we did not want to do by our loved ones, to act against our will. Haven't we all not succumbed to pressure not wanting to hurt others and ended up hurting ourself at some point of time?

Assertiveness as per definition is standing up for your rights without infringing on the rights of others. In a way, referring to the epics Lord Krishna asking Arjuna to take on his cousins in the battle of Kurushetra to even history Mahatma Gandhi leading the non violent freedom moment shows us the importance of being assertive in our lives.

Rights of an assertive individual

• The right to voice his opinions without fear
  
• The right to make mistakes ( without malice or as Hriday points out freedom to make mistakes and not a right persay )
  
• The right to be accept one's ignorance
  
• The right not to be emotional manipulated
  
• The right to change your mind
  
• To right to make unconventional decisions
  

As they say, with power comes responsibilites, we cannot be just self centred in pursuit of own rights so there are some duties as well.

Duties of an assertive individual

• To listen to other person's point of earnestly
  
• To work for a workable compromise
  
• To stand by your views in adverse conditions

Before, we start practicing assertiveness, what we need as individuals is the clarity of purpose, an open mind to entertain opposing views and the ability to engage in dialogue without being highhanded. With these thoughts in mind, I think the world will be much better to place to live in if we can find the voice to speak our minds and offcourse listen to others.