Guide – An Enduring Classic

The Guide (1965 ) is based on the novel by R.K Narayan who also wrote the Malgudi Days, the movie adaption directed by Vijay Anand and stars Dev Anand-Waheeda Rahman in stellar performances.

Plot Summary 
Guide is about Raju (Dev Anand) who is a tourist guide and his complex relationship with Rosie (Waheeda Rahman) who is a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage with Marco
who is an archaeologist obsessed with his work.

Rosie turns suicidal but Raju comes into her life and helps her break free from her husband and mentors her to become a classical dancer with great success. They start living together which alienates Raju's family. Eventually his insecurities and access to instant wealth makes him jealous and gets  intimidated by her success. In a moment of indiscretion, he commits a forgery and he gets jailed and the difference of opinions drives a wedge in the relationship of Rosie and Raju. 

Once Raju leaves jail instead of returning to Rosie or his family, he runs away and he is mistaken for a saint in a village. Eventually due to a drought, the villagers persuade him to undertake a 12 day fast to evoke the rain Gods. 

Rosie, his mother and friends try persuading him to give up his fast but he refuses as he does not want to break the faith of the villagers. Eventually the faith of villagers is rewarded and Raju dies in the end but in the end after achieving true peace of mind and transforming from a man to an ideal.  

Takeaways from the Movie  

The first and most daring plot device of a woman in an unhappy marriage and her courage to walk out and have an affair with another man. For the 1960's India it was tremendous leap ahead to show a live in relation between Raju and Rosie. 

Secondly Rosie's pursuit of her dreams to become a dancer and how that leads to souring of her relationship with Raju who eventually succumbs to the typical insecurities. The depiction of an imperfect relationship is quite a refreshing change to the typical goody two shoes romances of the 60's Hindi cinema. 

Thirdly when Raju goes to the village, the depiction of rural India, abject poverty and the willingness of the masses to follow anyone as a spiritual guide / leadership. The rich have the luxury to entertain ideas of atheism and the triumph of science over religion but for the poor, only faith in a higher power God is the only comfort to live on another day. 

Fourthly the movie deals is the exploration of Hindu beliefs of the eternal soul and impermanent body, so when finally Raju dies for the village, it is not an unpleasant choice but actually an evolution in his mindset. The transformation of a impostor to an spiritual being is quite plausible and engaging.

Guide as the Metaphor 

The “Guide” is quite the metaphor, in the first phase, Raju is 'Tourist Guide' guiding people as his work, then he becomes 'Guide-Mentor' to Rosie to end her unhappy marriage and also become a successful dancer. The Third phase of his life is 'Guide-Guru' to the masses as the spiritual Guru. But the most significant transformation as 'Guide to Himself' when he is able to rise above his ego, attachments and pettiness to sacrifice his life for the people.

In the name of 'Bold' movies we are subjected to semi-pornographic movies these days but to be honest, Guide sans skin show was a bold, unconventional movie.  

Words do not do enough to describe this great classic of Indian cinema, I recommend you the reader to catch it soon. 

The Dynamics of Relationships

As my peer group is hitting the quarter life crisis mark, lots of them including me are increasingly asking similar questions, how do we manage our relationships. By relationships I mean not only having a girl friend/boy friend, it also relates to keeping in touch with past friends and importantly how to make new friends or meet potential life partners.

Couple of interesting pieces written by my friends whose blogs I do follow regularly, actually made me think on these lines in more details. The problems include is being taken for granted by supposedly good friends to travails in finding your true soul-mate . 

Why the Crisis in the first place

The job disperses the friendly group into different geographies which brings challenges of adjustment. Some adjust fast and some get bogged down more. The ones who cannot adjust become naturally self centred in order to make the adjustments, which is considered selfish by other friends. As time progresses, pay packages, the race to buy the new car, the comparisons begin to take toll on friendships.  Ego and the inability to communicate your true feelings is the problem in most cases. 

The Tough Question

There is one additional caveat, sometimes we outgrow a certain relationships and it is time to let go and there are relationships which can be rekindled with some interventions, the challenge is knowing which one needs to be pursued ?

Evaluating this questions becomes really tough, it requires us to be objective ( tough call for a irrational social animal called man/woman), keep aside our ego, delusions and the tendency to wanting to cling on and decide if the relation is giving us positive energy and is meaningful or it is actually deceptive, draining our energy and eroding our self worth.

Rather than going more detail and being prescriptive, I would just say in the words of Shakespeare To thy own self be true, reflect over your relationships, take stock of friends, acquaintances and enemies. Decide who needs to stay, who needs to go and what are your priorities in life. At first It may seem tough, scary but then you need bite the bullet and make the seemingly tough decisions.

The Three Ring Theory

Reference is due to Khalil who came come up with theory in the first place long back in my engineering days . In order to have sustainable good relationships, we need three rings or three kind of friend circles.

First Ring

The inner circle of closest friends whom who can confide everything and also fewer in number. The most mature and oldest friends.

Second Ring

The good friends and the hangout buddies which comprises of a bigger circle with whom we do share our interests and are in touch with regularly.

Third Ring

The social acquaintances like office colleagues, classmates the folks with whom we enjoy the occasional banter and have a potential to move up into the inner circles. I believe this circle is important as today's strangers become tomorrow's good friends.

In summary, I believe it is important to maintain a wide circle of friends so that we give space to our close friends and give chances to get to know new people so that the cycle of making new friends does not have to die after we hit the corporate world.